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10 Turnoffs That Make Good Guys Wave Goodbye

By Jeff Cohen Updated: Aug 26, 2009
Jeff Cohen
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You're sitting across from a great guy you met on Yahoo! Personals. You can't remember the last time a first date went so well. You're attracted to the guy. He has all the qualities you're looking for in a mate. He would even get your mom's approval.
The date ends and you actually have butterflies. Not only does this guy have second and third date potential, but you can smell a relationship. Unfortunately, a week passes and the cold reality sinks in that this great guy has no intention of ever seeing you again.
Where did you go wrong?
How could you have misunderstood what you thought was great chemistry? Maybe it's time you learned the top 10 turnoffs that make good guys wave goodbye. If any of these fictional female daters sound like you, it's time for a first-date makeover.
  1. Misleading Maggie: Her profile says no kids, athletic and raking in the big bucks. The first date reveals two young kids, an extended waistline and unemployment checks.
    “Nothing says trust issues for a guy more than lies from the get-go”
    Nothing says trust issues for a guy more than lies from the get-go.
  2. Insecure Ilene: She reads into every comment a guy makes. She wants to know right away if date #2 can be tomorrow. She asks you to call the minute you get home. This clingy nature screams of a potential needy girlfriend lacking independence.
  3. Third-Degree Donna: The cross-examination begins before the menus arrive. The questions are coming fast and furious, and the guy begins to feel like the defendant on the stand in a criminal trial. If a guy feels stuck under the interrogation lights, he'll run for the hills.
  4. Tardy Tina: She arrives late, she no-shows, she changes plans last-minute, she loses his number, she flat-out just doesn't respect a guy's time. Fashionably late is one thing; keeping a guy waiting 30 minutes or no-showing is unacceptable.
  5. High-Maintenance Hilda: "Thanks for taking me to this nice restaurant, but couldn't you get a table by the window?"
    “The feeling that nothing is ever good enough makes a guy quit trying to impress”
    The feeling that nothing is ever good enough makes a guy quit trying to impress. A simple thank you for a nice dinner is a better way to go.
  6. Chatterbox Charlene: The conversation doesn't have to be 50 percent talking and 50 percent listening, but if she does all the talking it feels more like a seminar than a date. Charlene's opposite cousin, Pulling Teeth Patricia, is equally unsettling, making the guy do all the work.
  7. Still-Hurting Sally: First dates are notorious for spilling the beans on what went wrong with prior relationships. Sharing an amusing anecdote is good; making it clear you're not over your ex-boyfriend is a definite no-no.
  8. Game Player Gina: "Maybe I'll kiss you goodnight, maybe I won't."
    “Good guys like to know where they stand”
    Good guys like to know where they stand. They leave the game-playing for the sports field. There's nothing wrong with flirting, but just know when it crosses over into deception and confusion.
  9. Conceited Colleen: "Any guy would be lucky to have me." Guess what, the great guy across the table is also a real catch. Stop assuming every guy doesn't deserve you, and then you'll be on your way to actually landing a good one.
  10. Matrimony Maureen: He dips his egg roll in duck sauce when all of a sudden she spills the beans on what they should name their kids. Intense relationships can be exciting for a good guy, but walking down the aisle before you walk each other home for the first time is a turn-off.
What are the "10 Turnoffs That Make Great Gals Wave Goodbye"? See them here
Dating, Inc.
Jeff Cohen is the author of "
Dating, Inc.," a that shows women a step-by-step plan for finding true love using the same skills that already make them successful at work. Jeff has appeared on CNN, CBS, and Voice of America, and been interviewed by USA Today, Daily News, Denver Post, the Chicago Tribune, the Boston Herald, and Martha Stewart Living Radio. He earned degrees in marketing from the Wharton School of Business and psychology from the University of Pennsylvania and readily admits taking charge of his love life through a game plan that included 77 blind dates before he found the one.
Leave a comment COMMENTS50 COMMENTS
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A Yahoo! Contributor
Sometimes it's as simple as physical chemistry. He might like everything about you but you just don't turn him on.
A Yahoo! Contributor
The first comment, wow. He must definitely be an idiot. Not only does he have horrible grammar, he is also completely oblivious to how stupid he is.
A Yahoo! Contributor
To the guy that made comment number 1, you're slime and the reason some women will play the game. In the end you get what you put into a relationship. Put in nothing and that's what you'll get nothing.
A Yahoo! Contributor
That's a good list.
A Yahoo! Contributor
I disagree completely with the first poster. Real men are NOT just in it for sex. Empty sex is just that. Without a relationship, you might as well just whack off in the shower, buddy. If you have a great relationship and are truly meant for each other, then the sex will be what it is supposed to be; a celebration. Then you both win. Why would you want or settle for anything less? Why would you want her to do so?
A Yahoo! Contributor
This is a well writen article, but the first poster is rather a moron. I agree with the poster above me.
A Yahoo! Contributor
For comment 13, that's just the way it should be. Sex without love leaves you feeling empty.
A Yahoo! Contributor
Clearly poster #1 is a child. I can't imagine that any actual MAN would say something like that. Be yourselves and be happy.
A Yahoo! Contributor
Men and woman are totally different thinkers about many things, however, as we have all seen there is a mutual space where we meet and are in fact on the same level of thought. The stereo typical thinkers are not only going to remain lonely but they are never going to feel any self confindence, EVER. This is not a gender competition, there are losers and gems in both genders. The secret in dealing with any man is to firstly let him know he DOES have to work for you and if he is worth being around...he will. The old cliche, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free is true! So please ladies stop bringing down our reputations with you feeble attempts of sexual wildness to get a man, it's tiring and DOES NOT WORK! and don't believe for a minute..this one is different. MEN...I know most of you would love to be able to have a woman you can rely on, have fun with, and get a nice gourmet meal cooked for you.Most of you are very simple minded and fust DON'T want a thousand questions a million phone calls and trillion accusations. I understand and even as woman listening to my girlfriens it does get quite stale. Many times I am more on the males side than the females...Ladies we are in control if only you would grab the whell and drive because there is nothing a man likes more than to have a chauffer who knows where shes going so he doesn't have to...ask directions. Good Luck Lovers!
A Yahoo! Contributor
Im young, and not very wise but who ever wrote #1 cant honestly beleive what he said was right...If any guy knows what sound moral judgement is, he would know that no girl worth having would be stupid enough to want THAT kind of guy or relationship. And any girl with two brain halfs to rub together would be able to smell what he's up to.
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