I'm sensing a lot of pain out there these days... from singles emailing me their dating frustrations to my fellow dating blogger Ryan calling himself Mr. Lonelyheart to the single women expressing dismay from watching reruns of the latest episode of "The Bachelor." I put together a few things I've learned in my 30 years as a usually single person. This is for my own sake, too -- I have to remind myself to practice them. Here they are, in no particular order:

Man, I wish I could plan and control everything that happens in my life. But hey, there are far worse things than not knowing your romantic future. Imagine being diagnosed with breast cancer, treating it, and beating it... but still wondering at every next mammogram if the cancer will have come back. That's living with uncertainty. People do it every day.

Everything takes longer than we expect -- getting that next job or promotion, waiting for a guy to commit, or finding a house or roommate or soulmate. Did I ever think I'd be single in 2009? NEVER. But the reason I'm not walking around in shock about it is because of another lesson I've learned -- namely, that life always surprises you.

I have many friends who are blessed with loving husbands, children, dogs, luxury cars... even a swimming pool out back. They appear to have it all. But I cannot resent my friends their happiness. That's so lame. Things will work out for me! They will.

Even though George Clooney isn't sitting on your couch and proposing marriage (yet), you have other beautiful, moving things (e.g. the Beatles, a blue sky, good literature). Whenever I take the time to notice something bellissimo... well, I won't get all religious on you, but if you actually thank God or Buddha or throw it out to the universe, it reminds you there are bigger things than poor old you and your loneliness (thank goodness for that!).

You know when you're singing by yourself, and you're actively recalling the lyrics and swaying, and then you get down on your knees and really belt out that money note? Well, that's living in the moment. Sing, write, dance -- do anything engaging. Just get in the zone as often as possible. The zone will save you.

This is a must. Also laugh at other people or characters. I recommend watching the Bridget Jones movies.