Dating Tips: 9 Flirting Moves That Work (and Ones That Never, Ever Will)
Dating experts give their opinions on common flirting techniques singles use from the standpoint of both sexes
By dating bloggers Erin Meanley and Ryan Dodge for Glamour Photo: iStockphoto.com/bdibdus Updated: Aug 3, 2009
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Flirting Move #1: The Longer-Than-Normal Eye GazeErin
says: This works, but don't stare him down. Hold the
gaze for no more than five seconds, and make sure to smile. I've reeled
'em in countless times this way. It's like a green light. You're
silently expressing interest and inviting him or giving him permission
to come over.
Ryan
says: This is the easiest and most effective way to
signal your interest from across the bar, and it is the only excuse a
self-confident guy needs to make a move.
More Dating Articles from Glamour:Flirting Move #2: The WinkErin
says: The wink can be friendly or cutesy, but if you
really want to stop him in his tracks, modify it. Try the slow wink.
You close your eyelid and then open it slowly, and at the same time
roll your shoulder forward and lift your chin, like you're laughing in
slow-motion. But just know that this move is lethal, and it sends a
message loud and clear. You might as well give him your room key. I've
never used it on a stranger.
Ryan
says: The wink is good in theory but difficult in
practice. I'm not very good at winking, so I've never pulled this move
-- and if I saw a girl do it, I'd assume she had a twitch.
Flirting Move #3: The Hair FlipErin
says: I don't do this because I'm from Southern
California and already get the words "ditz" and "Valley girl" thrown at
me quicker than I can say, "Like, omigod." But I've been told that
single
men get excited when you touch your hair.
Ryan
says: So, like, you're totally hitting on me, right?
When I think "hair flip," I think ditzy. Sorry.
Flirting Move #4: The Oral Fixation (sucking a lollipop, licking lips, etc.)Erin
says: Always, always do this at some point in the
evening. Men imagine that lollipop or Popsicle is... well, you probably
get the gist. Warning: Use this move sparingly -- if you spend the
whole night perfecting the move, it looks a little
over-the-top.
Ryan
says: Do single women actually
do this? I mean, outside of movies? If so, I've been missing out
big-time. [Editor's note: Ryan, have you met Erin? See
above.]
Flirting Move #5: The Mirror (i.e., if you lean in, she leans in)Erin
says: I do this in job interviews, and a date is
essentially a job interview. If a guy isn't interested, he'll sit back.
So why should you sit forward and look all anxious and desperate? Sit
back! But if he leans in to hang on your every word, by all means, lean
in right back.
Ryan
says: This is one of my favorite techniques -- subtle
but effective. It works well when paired with a slight smile and eye
contact.
Flirting Move #6: The WhisperErin
says: Teachers change their volume to get your
attention. Often they get quieter instead of raising their voices. It
works for them, and it can work for you. When you whisper to a man, he
has visions of you whispering in the dark. In bed. Do it.
Ryan
says: A while ago I was at a party with a date and she
leaned over and whispered, "Let's get out of here" in a really
seductive voice. Just thinking about it still gives me shivers -- in a
good way.
Flirting Move #7: The "Accidental" TouchErin
says: I've been told this is disarming -- in a good
way. I'm quite the "unaware toucher," but I always make sure the guy
accidentally touches me first. That gives me some idea of his interest.
Ninety-five percent of the time, if he likes me, he'll touch my arm or
leg, usually as a way to emphasize something he's saying. Look for his
first accidental touch about an hour into the date (any sooner and he's
probably not the most respectful guy).
Ryan
says: I'm too shy to bust this out early in a
relationship, but I love when single women do it to me.
Flirting Move #8: The SmileErin
says: Always smile. Most men love happy drama-free,
toothsome women. It's the best move you can make.
Ryan
says: If a gaze followed by a smile doesn't bring him
over, trust me, he's not interested.
Flirting Move #9: The Footsie PlayErin
says: I have never done this. If you want to pull a
Mrs. Robinson and seduce some young boy, go for it. But it's pretty
brazen and kind of cheesy. I'm never that forward. Also, some people
have a foot fear -- it's the anti-foot fetish.
Ryan
says: It's very aggressive. If bad '80s comedies are
any guide, this move should be saved for large family dinners as a way
to antagonize relatives, like when you're sitting across from creepy
Uncle Melvin.
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