"Who's that cute guy across the bar? Oh my God, did he just give me The Look? Is he coming over? How's my hair?" Stop! Back up about four questions, because you forgot to ask yourself the most important one: Is he a player?

Trust me on this. The last thing any woman wants is to find out she's been had after weeks of dating. Luckily for anyone reading this, I'm fresh off portraying a Grade A bona fide player for my new movie, "Spread." While researching the role, I learned some critical info about the tactics of these cavorting Casanovas. Allow me to clue you in.

1. Ask around. Even the smoothest players have a rep. Which is why most of you who date them already know the score deep down. You're either in denial or think that you're going to change him. You're not! If it looks like a donkey, smells like a donkey, and your friends tell you it's a donkey, it's not a stallion!

2. Review his approach. A real player won't come on to you in a direct way. Instead he'll chat up your friend and wait for you to make a move. Why? He wants you to feel like you are choosing him. Beware, he's counting on your being competitive.

3. Pay attention to his actions, not his words. A player will paint a verbal picture of your life together right from the very first date, complete with romantic trysts and names for your 2.2 kids. (Meanwhile, he's checking out the waitress.) Before you swoon, ignore the smooth talk and notice whether his behavior -- from showing up on time to calling when he says he will -- is saying you're The One, and not just one of many.

4. Consider whether his alias should be Mr. Mysterious. After a few dates, ask yourself: Have I hung out with his friends? Do I know anything about him besides his last name? Do I even know his last name? If he's not bringing you into his world, it's not because he's shy. It's because -- all together now -- he's a player.