Dating Tips: 9 Quick Ways to Size Him Up
Observe these qualities to figure your date out from the first impression
By dating editor Savannah Ashour for YourTango.com Photo: Getty Images Updated: Oct 22, 2009
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1. The AromaPheromones,
nature's sniffable love potion #9, provide us with important
information about compatibility. Though aftershave or cologne can mask
a man's pheromones, a recent study showed that people tend to pick
perfumes similar to their body's natural odor.
"Perfumes
enhance one's own scent and, thus, entice members of the opposite sex,"
says biological psychologist Dr. Nick Neave of England's Northumbria
University. So if you like a man's cologne, it could be a sign that
you're compatible -- at least biologically.
2. The FashionAccording
to Michael Marinoff, a bartender at New York's Maritime Hotel, the
modern Casanova wears many disguises. "Players have become much more
subtle," he says. "It's all about fusion."
If
a guy looks like he's trying to merge many styles (e.g. a Brooks
Brothers shirt with the sleeves ripped off), he could be attempting to
multiply his options.
3. The Body LanguageWe
can absorb as many as 10,000 nonverbal cues in less than a minute, says
body language expert Patti Wood, and can form impressions in as little
as one-fortieth of a second with an accuracy rate of up to 80 percent.
So, check him out.
An overly broad
stance could mean he's domineering. Are his feet pointing toward you?
As Wood says, "Where the feet go, the heart follows." The timing of a
smile is revealing, too. If he smiles before he speaks, he feels good
about you; if his grin follows his speech, he could be faking
it.
4. The SignalsFor
the women of the 78th Police Precinct of New York City, spotting a
shady character comes down to "Gut feeling, with both men and perps."
Signals of sketchiness include lack of eye contact and
fidgeting.
If his eyes roam over your
body instead of resting on your face, you can probably guess his
motives. And if he changes his gait or begins to perspire profusely
upon spotting a cop, watch out -- "Oh, do they sweat."
5. The FaceDeborah
Gunther, who practices the ancient Chinese art of facial reading, says
there are countless ways to gauge a person's character through his
face. A mouth full of curves is a sign of a sense of humor. Watch out
for large, round nostrils, which could mean he can't hold onto money,
or a jaw that is wider than his forehead, which signals a dictatorial
personality. Thin lips can point to emotional repression, while fuller
lips signal sensuality; and if you can see the inside of his lip when
his mouth is closed, he may be promiscuous.
6. The VoiceOur
reaction to a man's voice is often instinctive and immediate. According
to Sam Chwat, director of New York Speech Improvement Services, the
response is primal: "Humans react differently to an animal that
whimpers than to an animal that roars."
Nevertheless, Chwat notes, though one might interpret a soft voice as a sign of
timidity, it could signal a willingness to listen. Similarly, an overly
strident, forceful delivery might be his way of compensating for
insecurity -- there could be a tiny mouse hidden inside that great big
lion!
7. The BlingThe
doorman at New York's Four Seasons Hotel is a longtime observer of the
wealthy -- and those who wish they were. His wisdom: "If a man is too
interested in flash, his money is probably poorly managed." According
to his colleague up the street, at the Pierre, "The watch tells you
everything." Don't forget to check out his feet: The doormen concur
that brown shoes paired with a blue suit equal a bad tip.
8. The Aura"Everyone
is born psychic," says Tina Vlado at The Village Psychic in New York.
"Some just more than others." Those of us less preternaturally inclined
simply have to focus.
"When you first
meet someone," Vlado suggests, "stop for a second, breathe, and get a
sense of the energy." Strong, silent types are usually easier to read.
"When they're talking too much, it's almost like they're hiding
something," she says.
9. The TopicsAdele
Testani, the cofounder of HurryDate, is candid about first impressions.
"You're not going to be able to tell if you want to marry him," she
says. "But you can tell a lot about humor, attraction, and
chemistry."
In a speed-dating scenario,
nerves run high. So pay less attention to what he's saying -- "My name
is Harry, I enjoy sushi and Trivial Pursuit" -- than to which topics
end up dominating his time. You'll learn more about his values while
taking into account the limits of the situation.
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