Dating 101: The Five Biggest First-Date Turnoffs
By relationship blogger Married Jake for Glamour
Photo: iStockphoto.com/© Brenda A. Smith
Updated: Jul 9, 2009
Everyone
reads too much into things at the beginning of a
relationship. Even the dude who pretends he couldn't be more casual.
It's natural -- we're trying to mind-read our dates, gauge intentions,
figure out if our new flame would rather be doing her nails than
listening to our college stories during a nice night out on the town. So you have to be
careful with us guys -- even though we pretend not to be so sensitive
-- and realize what signal you're sending.
Here are five that say: I really really like you... for anyone else but me.
More on Dating from Glamour:1. The Coffee Invite"Let's
totally have coffee at 2:15 on Wednesday!" Coffee? On a weekday? At
such a precise time? That's when you meet your friend's little sister
who wants to ask you for career advice.
2. The Group Invite"Me
and a bunch of my friends are going to be at XX bar, why don't you stop
by?" When we hear that you're bringing your friends along, we assume
you don't want to be alone with us.
3. The Inappropriate Attire"I
just came from the gym." It's no problem if you don't dress like you're
on your way to accept the academy award for best actress, but if you're
wearing sweatpants, we're assuming you don't want us to think about you
in any sensual way.
4. The Excuse Caused by Your Insecurity"I'm
soooooo tired." This is the absolute worst. I've had women say that to
me when they've actually been interested and later admit that they were
just worried that they seemed boring and were making an excuse. But
what we hear is: I'm laying the groundwork to go home as soon as
possible.
5. The Outpouring About Your Ex "I'm
just getting out of a really intense relationship." We don't care if
this is true, and we know that even people just emerging from coupledom
can get involved with new people. But we don't want to spend our first
moments alone together hearing about how intense your old relationship
was. Not the mental picture that makes us giddy.
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