Dating 101: How to Say "I Love You" Without Uttering a Word
Here are eight ways you can let your mate know you love them without verbalizing it.
By Stacy D. Phillips
www.hitchedmag.com
Updated: May 22, 2009
It
is very easy to take advantage of your mate; we all do
it, but when you are in a committed relationship, it is important to
make an effort to continue to let your mate know (on a regular basis)
that you love them. Sadly, saying "I love you" the same old way
eventually loses its meaning or impact.
I
know couples who do the same routine every day -- dress, shower, pack
the briefcase and head out the door -- with a "love you" as they give
their mate a peck on the cheek. But that gets old and stale. Finding
new ways to express that sentiment is key to not only keeping your
relationship intact but strengthening your bond in a very deep way. In
my book, "Divorce: It's All About Control -- How to Win the Emotional,
Psychological and Legal Wars," I talk about loss of love or intimacy.
You need intimacy to keep a committed relationship healthy. Without
expressing those feelings continuously, intimacy will dissipate and you
and/or your partner will begin to look for it elsewhere.

A little creativity and going the
extra mile in the "I love you" department will pay huge dividends in
your relationship
A little creativity and going the
extra mile in the "I love you" department will pay huge dividends in
your relationship, so if you are not already saying
"I love you" in different ways, start now.
1.
Stop off on your way home from work: Pick up your
sweetheart's favorite "thing." Maybe it's a special flavor of
Haagen-Dazs, the pizza with that wacky assortment of toppings, a new
book by his/her favorite author, a CD he/she has mentioned wanting to
get, a t-shirt with her/his (or as a couple your) favorite sayings on
it. How about the laundry he/she keeps forgetting to pick up. Do not
make a big deal of this little "love token" by some grand verbal
announcement of it, instead leave it somewhere in the house where
he/she will soon find it.
2.
Throw that secret look: Send a smile or smirk that
only the two of you understand. No words need to accompany it. Maybe it
is a wink or nod or other signal the two of you have established that
means, "I love you." Sending it to your lover when it is most
unexpected, gesticulates tremendous warmth and affection. In all its
silence, this beacon of love can end an argument, set up a soon-to-be
intimate encounter or just remind your partner you are thinking special
thoughts about them right in the middle of, well, nothing in
particular.
3. Slip a
supportive note or affirmation in her purse/his jacket
pocket: Though it may be days or weeks before he/she
finds and sees it. No need to ask, "Did you get my note?" Just let your
mate come upon it randomly. When your mate does, the impact will be
stupendous!
4.
Demonstrate that you are trying to correct that annoying
habit: Make an obvious effort to stop doing it. That
could include picking up your dirty socks to cleaning the empty coffee
cups off the center console of the car to tossing your gum in the trash
when you have the urge to smack it. Do not say, "See, I'm working on
that." Your actions will speak for themselves.
5.
Send one of those "just because" or "it made me think of you" cards or
books: Send one that has a message in it that only the
two of you would get -- an affectionate or humorous one -- that reminds
them you would not want to belong to anyone else. Shhh, do not mention
it. By sending it, you have said it all.
6.
Do a good deed for your partner: One they know you
typically avoid taking on and expect them to do instead. This might be
taking out the trash, cleaning up after dinner, making the kids'
lunches, running to the grocery store, etc. Knowing that you did the
chore or task he/she knows you generally dislike can speak volumes of
how you feel about him/her.
7.
Post your anniversary date in a place where your mate will see
it: Whether it is on the bathroom mirror, the
refrigerator door, inside the checkbook or day planner or on their
dashboard. Next to it, write, "Best day of my life." No need to say "I
love you," you just did.
8.
Extend a gentle touch at least once a day: Not as a
request for intimacy, but as a gesture of warmth and respect. A slight
and tender stroke across his/her shoulder or a few soft fingertips
across the cheek can speak loudly and clearly.
It's
time for you to make your list. When you can, add to it. Be creative.
No matter how spectacular you currently believe your relationship to
be, notice how much more rich it becomes.
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