10 Things You Don't Know About Love
Love is patient. Love is kind. And it keeps you healthy, happy, and wrinkle-free! Check out these and the other amazing advantages to adoring your family, your friends, and even Fido.
By Louise Jarvis for Redbook Updated: May 22, 2009
RATING THIS ARTICLE
1.
Love is like chocolate. There's a reason newlyweds
can't get enough of each other: Love is a kind of chemical addiction,
says Helen Fisher, Ph.D., an anthropologist at Rutgers University, who
scours MRI bran scans for the secrets of love. Falling in love
activates the "pleasure" centers of the brain and increases production
of the feel-good chemical dopamine, which plays a key role in
addictions. And eating chocolate affects the same brain regions, which
is why it's hard to stop at one piece of candy. How? A surge of
dopamine is part of a chemical cocktail that boosts your mood and
energy levels, and sharpens your ability to focus on -- read: obsess
about -- your sweetie. Is it possible to feel that rush even after
you've been married for years? Absolutely. "Novelty drives up dopamine
too," says Fisher. So you can get a boost from trying something new in
the bedroom or ordering takeout Thai food instead of your usual
pizza.
More Redbook:2.
Your nose knows he's the one. Did you just know he was
the man for you? Thank your sense of smell. "Women can sniff out a
partner who is a good genetic match for having kids," says James V.
Kohl, a clinical laboratory scientist and coauthor of "The Scent of
Eros: Mysteries of Odor in Human Sexuality." Kohl and other smell
researchers have found that women are instinctively drawn to the scent
of men who are genetically different from them, which is a good thing.
"If you choose a partner whose genes are too similar to yours, your
children are at an increased risk for health problems," he explains.
What draws you to one guy over another is his pheromones, unique
chemical by-products of hormone production. Women are especially good
at detecting pheromones during ovulation, when our sense of smell is
strongest. When you like what you smell, your estrogen levels go up,
sparking desire.
3.
Marriage doesn't make you crazy -- it keeps you sane.
Forget the popular image of the married couple driving each other nuts.
"Studies show that getting married improves mental health and decreases
depression," says Linda Waite, Ph.D., a sociologist at the University
of Chicago and coauthor of "The Case for Marriage." In fact, one study
found that people who've never walked down the aisle are more likely to
be admitted to a psychiatric facility. "Many women gain a deep
satisfaction from the intimacy found in marriage," says Scott Haltzman,
M.D., clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at Brown University.
"That sense of belonging bolsters their sense of self-worth and
purpose," enhancing their mental stability.
4.
Marriage keeps you healthy, too. Saying "I do" isn't
just good for your mind. Married people -- even those in
less-than-perfect unions -- are physically healthier than those people
who aren't married. They have stronger immune systems, better
resistance to viruses such as colds and flus, fewer long-term illnesses
and disabilities, fewer hospitalizations, better survival rates for the
illnesses they do get, and longer life spans -- by up to eight years!
Interestingly, though, when it comes to preventing heart disease and
strokes, studies have found that being hitched helps only if your
relationship is happy. "Your heart knows whether your marriage is good
or not," notes Haltzman.
5.
It's better to be hitched than rich. What makes people
happiest? Being wealthy helps, but it's a solid marriage that seems to
rank highest on the smile scale. According to a Dartmouth study, having
a good marriage is equal to the satisfaction gained from earning an
extra $100,000 a year. So you really can be rich in love.
6.
A dad's love runs deep, too. If you think there's
nothing more amazing than a dad nuzzling his newborn or walking
hand-in-hand with his grade-schooler, you're right: "When a man holds
his child, he experiences a very distinct and powerful hormone change,"
explains Fisher. "We see this in humans and in animals." His levels of
testosterone -- a.k.a. the aggression hormone -- go down, while his
levels of the connecting hormones oxytocin and vasopressin increase,
which triggers bonding by making him crave closeness.
These
physiological changes have been around since the dawn of time, but
today's fathers are much more hands-on, which actually deepens their
attachment to their kids as they grow. A recent survey found that 93
percent of dads with school-age children hug them at least once a week,
which is up from 90 percent a decade ago; 60 percent hug them every
day. Hugs have a biological benefit, too: They reduce heart rate, blood
pressure, and stress hormones, and boost the immune system -- of the
hugger and the huggee.
7.
Puppy love is powerful. Many studies have found that
pets can lower blood pressure and ease loneliness. Now, new research
from the University of Missouri-Columbia suggests the hormonal changes
that occur when people and dogs interact could counteract depression
and stress disorders, too. Just a few minutes of petting Fido causes a
release of happy hormones like serotonin and oxytocin, while reducing
stress hormone levels. You don't even need your own pooch to reap the
benefits, says researcher Rebecca Johnson: "You get them when you pet
any dog."
8. Getting
busy keeps you young. People who have physical
intimacy four to five times a week look more than 10 years younger than
those who have physical intimacy twice a week, according to a 10-year
study of 3,500 people at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital in Scotland. Why?
Experts aren't sure, but they do know from previous research that the
testosterone released during climax helps men maintain muscle mass. As
for women, the estrogen surge experienced during physical intimacy may
make our hair shinier and skin smoother, both signs of
youth.
9. Chick
flicks turn him on. Your man may not realize it, and
he certainly won't admit it, but this romantic genre is more likely to
inspire sensual feelings in him than his favorite action flick,
according to a study at the University of Michigan. Researchers there
found that watching a romantic movie can boost a guy's progesterone
levels by more than 10 percent, increasing his lovey-dovey feelings.
Still, getting him to sit through "Bridget Jones's Diary" on DVD may be
tricky -- even on Valentine's Day. So rent a chick flick with romantic
leanings cloaked in a tough-guy hero. For that, "Casablanca" never
fails.
10. Love is a
wonder drug. No, really. As if there weren't enough
reasons to put on some Barry White, here's more good news about
physical intimacy. During a sensual encounter, your body pumps out 200
percent more endorphins (those feel-good chemicals responsible for a
runner's high), according to a recent Johns Hopkins University study.
Other research has found that physical intimacy relieves headaches and
zaps mild depression instantly. The adrenaline released can act as a
natural antihistamine, clearing up the winter snuffles. One study even
showed it was 10 times more effective than Valium at giving people a
calm, contented feeling. No Rx required!
Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.More Redbook:- What to Wear in the Bedroom
- 5 Things Super-Happy Couples Do Every Day
- Eight Things No One Tells You About Marriage
- Dating 101: Seven Warning Signs of a Troubled Relationship
- Dating 101: Everything You Know About Affairs Is Wrong
- Dating Challenge: Overcoming Jealousy
- Dating 101: Will Your Guy Cheat on You?
- Debunking the Dating Scarcity Myth
- What's Behind the Trend of Women Dating Younger Men?

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